


Preferred

by Sammichplease



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Love, M/M, No Sex, Sick Castiel, Sickfic, shower, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 08:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2018478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammichplease/pseuds/Sammichplease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em> "It had been just his luck, getting sick a week after being human. It had been three days and Castiel was hardly getting any better, not to his surprise. Fragility of the human body took part in what he admired most, but now it had come back to bite him in the ass."</em>
</p>
<p>They share a mainly unspoken, subconsciously semi-hidden yet compassionate love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Preferred

**Author's Note:**

> I started this maybe five or six months before the season 9 finale because I was sick and was like *wow experience*  
> I promise I'll try not to turn the show characters into giggling fools, unless you're into that sort of thing. If you are, then sorry bro.

Castiel pulled his knees closer against himself, tugging the cotton blanket to drape around his body.

It had been just his luck, getting sick a week after being human. It had been three days and Castiel was hardly getting any better, not to his surprise. Fragility of the human body took part in what he admired most, but now it had come back to bite him in the ass.

He lifted the corners of his chapped lips, smiling as he remembered how lucky he was, considering; the pills had left him in a sleepy state. The serenity had been unlike the few miserable days before, full of sleep rather than a hacking cough. His watery blue eyes glimpsed through a haze and his limbs felt nearly numb, as though he could run a mile and forget he was doing so. His throat only hurt when he managed to grind out a few words, and the silence was peaceful.

His smile disappeared when he remembered how cold he was. A shiver ran down his spine as the blanket was no longer enough to warm him, despite the fact he had bundled himself up like a blanket burrito. The boys had left him in his new room in the bunker after throwing him a few pills and a sip of liquor.

Cas was glad he would not be in the way. He did not want to get them sick as well, even though he had never witnessed either of the brothers become ill (due to natural causes). A flicker of relief sparked within the sick former-angel that they would be home soon.

Time passed as Castiel sat with his clammy hands bunched in the blankets as not to send another spike of cold throughout his system by touching his burning skin. After a bit he thought himself childish to sit and wish away his problems. The silence had become unnerving as past mistakes began to roar his aching head, now foggy with fatigue. He slowly stood up with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders, trembling hands clutching the corners to his chest. He shuffled down the hall as a caped elder would, emanating pestilence with a grimace and pale eyes. Gripping to the last thing offering warmth and surrounding himself with the feeling for as long as he can before...

Castiel wasn't sure why had had gotten up, but he needed to prove to himself he wasn't entirely useless, perhaps by taking a few steps. He settled for making himself a cup of tea. The thought of the warm drink made his lips quirk up once more. 

Before he could figure out how to brew the tea with one hand, the bunker door squeaked open to reveal the Winchesters. They had come back from an unknown case, and the first to exclaim Castiel's name in surprise would be his partner, Dean. Sam followed his brother's remark with more confusion than dramatic concern. "What are you doing out of bed?"

Castiel glimpsed at the two before returning to the task at hand. "I was making a cup of tea." His voice was strained and the few words had brought up a brief coughing fit from the former angel, causing him to double over. Dean hastily thumped down the stairs to help steady him.

"You shouldn't be out here, Cas. Some demon or angel might prance in here, and we don't want them to see you- especially when you look like something out of House." Castiel refused Dean's offering arms, even if the warmth was comforting.

"I may be ill but I am perfectly aware of my surroundings, Dean. I know we are in a bunker rather than a house." He attempted to huff, broken voice unable to sound as convincing as he'd like. Castiel turned to go back to his room, pulling the blanket tighter around himself.

"No- Cas, just- here. I'll bring you your damn tea, just go back to your room." Dean's voice was authoritative, but his eyes were exasperated. Sam had been fiddling with supplies and books, avoiding the pair's small quarrel.

\---

Once Dean opened the door to his lover's room with a carefully made tea (Sam had smiled and thought of mentioning it, although he knew Dean would never admit how much he cared for that angel), the sight of Castiel had saddened him.

There the broken ex-angel sat, with flushed stubbled cheeks and white hands clutching the only warm blanket in the bunker. His hair shone with grease and flopped over in resignation to the cold beads of sweat dampening Cas' forehead. Overall, he looked miserable. 

"It's just a cold." Castiel whispered with a thick voice. Dean chuckled, but the laughter failed to reach his eyes. Stepping over to the bed, he spoke softly.

"You look like you're sitting on your deathbed, Cas." He stopped himself as the reality of those words had come to light. It seemed so with Castiel, too. He could die, if he gets any worse. Dean decided to ignore that. He handed the steaming mug to one of Castiel's trembling hands.

Dean watched the former angel's shaking fingers slowly reach around to grasp the cup handle with great difficulty. No words were spoken as he brought the rim of the glass to cracked lips, sipping gently. 

Contentment washed over Cas as the hot liquid ran down his shredded throat. A new warmth spread throughout his body. The rising steam caused his eyes to water further and he welcomed the heat, blinking in the blurring view. The moment was over all too soon, and once again only his frozen hands were offered the slightest warmth of holding the cup.

"Are you cold?" Castiel did not know he was so visual with his suffering. Dean suddenly looked overwhelmed with sadness, no doubt due to the thoughts of the probable future he had foolishly allowed to engulf himself in the moments of watching Cas.

"Yes." Castiel admitted with a murmur and a submissive tip of his head. 

Dean reached to take the cup from Castiel, after a few more sips. He was about to protest when he remembered the unnecessary pain it would inflict on his throat. Once the cup was on the table beside his bed, Cas was void of warmth once more until Dean placed his blazing hands on Cas's own empty ones.

It was as though Dean held soft chips of overlapping ice in his hands. Castiel's were nearly as big as his own, and he almost retracted from the surprising cold. He was worse than he'd thought. Dean held his lover's left hand between his own two, making sure to envelope and dissipate the ice in Cas's hands. Rubbing gently, Dean leaned forward to whisper in Castiel's ear. "Do you want to take a shower?" 

Castiel smiled weakly in response. "Will you help me?" In any other context, the words would have been seductive, but he would need help. He didn't have the strength, and it showed in his cracked whimper.

"Of course." Dean propped Castiel up and took him over to the bathroom, and Cas no longer refused his partner's help. 

Once the hot water was turned on and steam billowed from the faucet to fog the room, Dean undressed both of them. Castiel slouched over and kept his wistful eyes to the wall as Dean did so. Dean waited until they were both under the stream of warm water to lean in and kiss Castiel. He dodged Dean's attempt. "What's wrong, Cas?" Cas was against the wall and Dean and pressed their foreheads together, skimming his hands over Cas's sides.

"I don't want to get you sick." Castiel mumbled, grabbing hold of Dean's arms to make him stop. He did not comply. Looking into Cas's eyes, Dean smiled, hiding his fear.

"Then I won't kiss you on the lips." He whispered. Then, to Castiel's surprise, he turned away. 

"Dean, what are you-" He silenced himself once Dean turned back around, revealing a shampoo bottle in one hand. Cas cocked his head in confusion, causing Dean to grin once more. 

"I like the way you think, Cas, but we're in the shower for a reason." Laughing, he poured some of the thick liquid into his palm. Castiel smiled at Dean's humour and closed his eyes when he felt his lover's breath on his flushed cheek and two hands running through his hair.

Dean brushed his lips over Cas' face, pausing to press a kiss to each flushed cheek, his nose, chin, eyelids and forehead. As he did so, his fingers weaved themselves in thick black hair in intricate patterns, each motion declaring the love he failed to confess with words.

Castiel was not a toy to be played with, or a night of sexual desire to toss out the next day. Maybe it was that Castiel was too easy to toy with, or had been for the majority of his time with the Winchesters that made Dean want to protect him. But Castiel didn’t need to be protected, either. He was a living being, now human, to be cherished. Dean wasn’t going to let him slip through his fingers.

Dean turned them so Castiel was facing the wall beneath the shower faucet. He kissed and gently sucked Castiel's neck as to cause him to lean his head back and allow Dean to scrub the suds from his hair under the rush of the water. He decided conditioner could wait, for Cas's strength was dwindling. 

When Dean had gotten the shampoo out of his hair, Castiel was frowning again. "What's wrong?" Dean asked, turning Cas to cup his pale face in his pruny hands.

"I'm useless, Dean." Dejected blue eyes looked up at Dean with a small frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

Dean gave a light laugh of relief and nuzzled his face against Cas's. "Is that all?” He grinned against Castiel’s cheek. “You're just sick, it's temporary. You'll be good as new in a few days or so."

Cas pushed Dean away in frustration. "No, Dean. I mean I've always been useless. Being sick has eliminated my being a threat, which is actually an advantage for you. If I were to die of illness then-"

"Don't say things like that, Cas." Dean cut him off, grabbing Cas's shoulders and nearly shaking him as he spoke. "You and Sammy are all I've got left. If you died, I would..." Dean screwed up his face as if he were to cry. "Don't say things like that, you are not useless. You will never be useless, Cas." 

Green eyes met blue, taking on their own forms of desperation. One of hope and another of encouragement. "Even if you had no arms and no legs and were a duck I would still keep you." Dean whispered, smiling into his words. 

Castiel mimicked the soft curve of his lover's lips and murmured. "I would not have had arms in the first place if I were a duck, Dean." He drew a low chuckle from Dean, who was reaching for the soap.

"You'd make an odd duck, Cas. Now let's get the rest of you clean." He pulled Castiel into a soft embrace as he gently glided his fingers down Cas' sides, claiming him as loved for all that he is and will ever be. The bar skated up the ridges of Cas' ribs and curved over his shoulder to follow the dips of his spine. Dean's other hand rubbed and lathered the suds into Cas' skin, washing the fever and sick misery away and leaving careful messages of passion swirled across his body in an anonymous language.

Through the haze of sickness Castiel could still sense Dean’s hesitance in the soft gesture. He could almost hear the violent memories between them rattling around in Dean’s brain and the guilt he kept hidden pouring out with the water from the shower head. It clogged the air with the steam. Castiel let Dean struggle in thought for a moment, purely because he was too tired to help him out of it. He may be an angel, but he is no saint.

Castiel leaned against Dean, nudging him out of thought and when he began slowing his arm to mindlessly skating the soap bar in small circles over Cas’s skin, and hopefully sending the worrisome hunter a gesture of affection. It successfully snapped Dean out of his inner turmoil and he pressed a gentle kiss to Cas’s shoulder. Indirect apology and comfort shone in the contact. Dean reached around Castiel’s soapy torso to rub soap bar between both hands so he could drag the sudsy fingers of his empty hand along Castiel’s body and clean him faster, for he knew Cas couldn’t stand comfortably for much longer.

The remainder of their shower was silent save the steady rush of water and Castiel’s gurgling laughter as Dean traced along his ribs and around his sides to find ticklish spots on Castiel’s human form, something he has secretly longed to do, mainly out of curiosity. 

Castiel was embarrassed to have Dean rub him down with a towel, but could not refuse. The steam from the shower helped the fluid from his head drain and the pounding headache dissipate and he still felt the trace of Dean’s scripture and lips on his warm skin.Of course even Castiel knows that not just a shower will get rid of the mucus irritating his throat or the fever itching under his skin, but a lover’s touch will melt away the aches of the mind and heart. Castiel often wonders how he traipsed through life without Dean by his side. 

A soft green tee-shirt and boxer shorts were slid onto Cas’s trembling body. Dean smooshed himself next to Cas in the small bed and the blanket was wrapped around both of them, over Castiel’s head and body and around Dean’s side, just how they preferred. Dean held the tissues, Cas held the tea. They cuddled for a bit, but the time for silence was over. Dean did most of the talking, though.

He always did most of the talking.

Just how they preferred.

**Author's Note:**

> You bet I'm not above posting my new Tumblr that everyone should totally follow because my old on was jacked.  
>  I hope you enjoyed my story, share whatever good or horrible comments you may have!  
> http://deviantromantic.tumblr.com/


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